i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize