He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
