we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
