I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
