I look better un-naked...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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