He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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