I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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