i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
