Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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