she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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