Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
