the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
