I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize