Sry I called you an 8
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If that was your dad, he is hot
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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