So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize