Dual....:-)
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize