wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
