but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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