how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
