i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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