Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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