How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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