Sry I called you an 8
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
