Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
