Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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