My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
