Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I am one with the molecules
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
