After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
