My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
