it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need a beard to bite.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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