You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
