Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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