I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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