Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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