They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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