Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
