Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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