1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
