You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
