like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
