The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
