Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
