:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
