Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we're making bets on your personal life
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
