i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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