i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
