Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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