My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
