Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
