this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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