I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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