I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
