Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
