i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
