dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Randomize
