Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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