his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want to make out with him forever
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
