I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
