: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
