Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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